oh my something it's ok to come home

I don't want to sound wise. I can't adempt to fool myself. I'm going to write this exactly how I would say it. So here it goes. I think I really fell in love this school year. I don't even know what made me realize this. I really fell in love with him. Now, hang on a second. This isn't full of daisies and butterflies. I didn't fall in love with the boy that cut off all communication with me and refuses to look me in the eye. In fact, I really hate that boy. No, I fell in love with the boy that I met in September.

The boy who held my hand when I was scared during Dead Silence. The boy who gave me his jacket when it was cold and then stood behind me, putting his hands in the jacket's front pockets, giving me a sense of safety. The boy who drove to my house at 1 in the morning just to get brownies, then stood under the over-hang of my grauge while it was raining, just to talk. The boy who understood what the word "love" really meant and promised not to say it, unless he really meant it. The boy who I drove in circles with around town, constantly laughing, neither of us wanting to go home. The boy who carved pumpkins with me on Halloween. The boy who I only got to spend three short weeks with, until realizing that he could find someone so much better.

That's the boy I'm going to miss when August rolls around. That's the boy who now holds my heart. I just wish I could have one more chance to show him how wonderful of a person I can be. I just wish I could be happy, like I was 6 months ago.

So this school year is almost over and I can't hide how much my heart is breaking. But who am I missing? The boy who held my hand is gone and replaced with a sarcastic, 18 year old ass. So I guess I'm not missing anyone. That scares me.